Tag Archive for: marriage

WANTED ALIVE: WOMAN, WIFE & MOM

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As a woman, wife and mom I know I’m a wee bit … well, “off.” All moms are, if we’re honest with ourselves. Go ahead. Laugh! You know what I’m saying is true. Ever see a mom with her young children at the grocery store? Even when well behaved, kids bombard with questions and touch everything within reach … especially when least opportune. Like dogs and cats who get sick on hard-to-clean carpeting, lousy timing seems to be part of the “kid code,” an unwritten rule.

With that said, marriage and children have taught me tons about myself. I 100% believe I wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have learned otherwise. Here are just three:

1. Kids are underrated.
2. Be courageous in decisions.
3. Love multiplies.

KIDS ARE UNDERRATED

Nothing truly worthwhile in life is (always) easy. This goes for kids, spouses, marriage, AND one’s self-discovery journey (personally, professionally, etc.). Whoever told you to just put your head down, work hard and the rest will come lied to you! You’ve GOT to come up for air, get your bearings, make necessary adjustments, and THEN get back to it! Doesn’t this sound less frustrating?

To clarify, the under-21 set learns, tests, pushes, repeats. If we moms are honest, don’t we do the same?

* raising our children (try one method; doesn’t work; try again; or, if paying attention, adjust, retry)?
* evolving our careers (learn something new, repeat it; screw up; adjust; repeat)?
* nurturing ourselves (fight/accept weight or figure out what doesn’t work; adjust accordingly; retry)?
* growing our marriages (found “button” to push; is it good or bad; adjust; retry)?

Kids make mom learn ALL of that (and more) when we choose to highly rate them.

DECISIONS

Speaking of choices, we face plenty of those constantly. The myriad leads to decision-making, albeit some frightening (and unavoidably instantaneous); others ordinary (even dull).

I’m referring, however, to the decisions that take thought and long-term commitment, a.k.a. the really scary ones. They take courage. That:

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* change in career you’ve been thinking about;
* getting married/divorced;
* having (or not having) children;
* going after something on your bucket list;
* even writing a book!

Do you know what happens when you make a genuine decision? You’ve actually been courageous. Why? Because you’ve cut off, eliminated even, all other options.

Here’s an example: by deciding to have children, you accept that another life will depend on you for years; you can’t go out every night partying like you used to; and that your money/time is no longer solely your own, etc.

Real life, love, and family decisions take courage … period. Guess what you’ll discover about yourself: you’re stronger, tougher, smarter, and more capable than you’d ever known. Pretty cool, eh?

LOVE

Then there’s this super cool component about becoming a wife/mom: learning that love multiplies!!! If you thought you only had x amount of one kind of love within you, you thought wrong! There are tons of different types of love, and they’re all capable of growing exponentially.  Click here.

 

There’s parental love, sibling love, spousal love, friend love … you get the idea. Are you considering having another baby? Have you asked yourself if you’re capable of loving another one? I promise you are! See? You’re multiplying your love and didn’t even know it! In fact, there’s always more than enough.

REWARD: I ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

Business/Career Lessons From Passionate Parent

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Once upon a time, in a time not long ago, we all knew these lessons. What I’m about to share isn’t novel. So why write about it again? Because it bears repeating, that’s why!

There’s not a professional on the planet, human nor beast, which will disagree with me that these three lessons have been invaluable in their lives. And while there are so many from which to choose, currently, my biggest (and top) three have to be about:

  1. Respect
  2. Patience
  3. Relationships

Been here? Done this? Well, here’s my 2¢. To earn or get respect, ya gotta give it. Kind of simple really. It’s the ol’ “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” rule. Respect:

  • Builds trust
  • Builds communication
  • Builds relationship

Whether building a business (I’m a 4th generation entrepreneur married to a 3rd gen), raising children (we have three ages 24,19,16), or growing your marriage/partnership (we’re married 29 years), showing another respect is vital. This is NOT hard to do! This isn’t about grandiose gestures (though those can be fun, too. Ask anyone married over 20 years). This IS, however, about consistent, deliberate, and diligent efforts (see The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy). Like anything worthwhile in life, respect can be challenging to sustain and requires discipline … but it’s not hard.   

Couple respect with Patience which:

  • Builds trust
  • Builds communication
  • Builds relationship

Nope. Not a misprint. Consistent, deliberate and diligent effort here. You were once new at something, too. If you were considered annoying for not knowing your job immediately (ridiculed even), then you know the value of this trait. How’d it feel when you were shown an even-temper to complete a work task? How have your children responded to a firm but steady tone as you capitalize on a teachable moment? Haven’t you even pushed yourself harder after treating yourself with calmness instead of rage?

Toss in the final ingredient of Relationships to:

  • Builds trust
  • Builds communication
  • Builds relationship

Hmmm. Think I’m onto something! We’re ALL connected to everything/body on this planet; whether you believe that or not, to some degree, we are. Consider this tiny example: a baby with a blanket. Perhaps that object keeps that baby warm in the cool hospital or offers comfort when parents are arguing. The baby is in relationship with that blanket. Now apply this simplistic example to every encounter in your life.

Basically, whether in business, marriage or parenthood, always reach for respect and patience through consistent, deliberate and diligent efforts, and you’ll find your life just as invaluable as the lessons brought to it.

That’s my final answer, and I’m sticking to it!