LIFE IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

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Life is all about relationships. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about babes or boys; beasts or broccoli; Broadway or baseball. How we relate or connect with our world as a whole is up to us. The real trick, sometimes, is to follow our kids’ leads.

“Malarkey! Sometimes things, kids, LIFE happens, and we simply have to react.”  Sure, it’s still up to each of us every day to choose how we react. Then determine if that reaction yields a positive or negative relationship. Let me show you what I mean.

KATIE, MICHAEL & USAIN

Recently Katie Ledecky, teenager and highly decorated U.S. swimmer, spoke of her Rio Olympic experience after a race. “I’ve just had a lot of fun this week not only in the pool but … with my teammates. The memories mean more than the medals to me here. I’m just so proud of my teammates and what we all have accomplished…” She embraced the entire exhilarating relationship (with her teammates as well as the competition) the same way she’s dominated her events since she was six years old: with youthful enthusiasm. It’s infectious, wouldn’t you agree?

Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympic athlete ever, said in interviews that Coach Bob Bowman is “a father figure to me … He’s helped me through some of the worst times in my life, and he’s been there every step of the way and I’m forever thankful.” Their relationship, while often called complicated, has worked. What “parent/child” relationship hasn’t been complicated?

Then there’s the relationship between Usain Bolt and his mom. For all his showmanship, he’s still human, still gets nervous. His mom’s shared the best way to calm her son is for her to be calm initially and to use humor. How’s THAT for relating to the fastest human ever recorded on earth?

 

ASPARAGUS, BROCCOLI & BRUSSEL SPROUTS

Allergies, bad childhood experiences and peer pressure all influence relationships. Using food as an example, though people can be substituted, too, we make choices to eat our veggies based on so many factors. Certain choices connect us, while others segregate us. Just like children, we may initially not care for one flavor, try it again weeks, even years down the road, and find we’ve changed our minds. Funny how relationships may evolve, isn’t it?

broccoli brussel sprouts asparagus

 

 

 

BASEBALL, OPERA & TECHNOLOGY

Whether you watch sports, prefer the arts or play video games, your relationship with any activities exemplifies how you connect or escape, relax or process, love or reject in your life. Kids’ (and adults’) games show us, again, all about relationships.

Relationships-Matter-blog-logo

 

Follow the leads of our children of all ages; choose to embrace (instead of blame) relationships on all levels; and something shocking happens. We focus more on using our energies for the betterment of all, because, even if selfish, we know we benefit.

So logically, since we’re all in relationship with each other, why not consider what we expect from our children at school? More peace than war and more love than hate for our shared planet. Imagine how we can affect our global relationships! Aren’t relationships fascinating when you’re open to learning from them. https://www.creativereview.co.uk/the-story-behind-make-love-not-war/

OLYMPICS TEACH DESIRE, PASSION, LOVE

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Have you been watching? If not, I’m gonna challenge you to ask yourself: why not? And you can’t say, “because I’m not into sports.” Doesn’t everyone want desire, passion, and love in their lives in some way? I’m still talking about the Olympics here, folks.

DESIRE

You don’t have to be an athlete to appreciate raw ambition and sheer determination. When we turn on the Olympics, we turn on tremendous reminders of what hard work, commitment, and focus can produce. Ultimately, it’s an athlete’s desire to excel and the strength of their hearts that compel us to keep watching, rather than merely their sports. Consider the first ever refugee team, just for a moment with an open mind. Their personal stories are mind-boggling.

Sure. Go ahead. Try to argue that such global inclusiveness isn’t realistic. How do you think the Olympics have persisted over millennia? After all, why else would we allow over 6700 hours of TV programming into our homes and workplaces? We all have desires. The Olympics prove this.


PASSION

U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps, 31, the most decorated Olympian ever, used the word “passion” in a recent “Today” show interview. “I had to find the passion myself again … I (did) and I had fun.”

Another U.S. swimming gold medalist, Dara Torres, 33, also spoke to my personal spirit when she said, “Never put an age limit on your dreams.”

While U.S. beach volleyball gold medalist, Kerri Walsh, 38, added “Passion is a huge prerequisite to winning. It makes you willing to jump through hoops … to reach your goal.”

“Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit … The potential for greatness lives within each of us.” Wilma Rudolph overcame serious childhood physical disabilities to take U.S. track and field gold in 1956 and 1960.

Finally: “I think the way to become the best is to just have fun.” –Shaun White, 30, gold medalist in snowboarding.

Who said WE couldn’t tap into our unimaginable accomplishments? The Olympics show us how.Olympic rings:black background

LOVE

Everybody knows that to even make it to the Olympics is a remarkable accomplishment. However, for those disinterested in athletics, you’re missing out on a bigger picture. You see, when you look beyond the surface of sports, there’s something more remarkable going on in Rio.

Love someone or something in your life deeply? You’re thus glimpsing athletes’ bravery, positive attitude, and dedication. Like hard-core gamers deeply involved with the intricacies of their platform, musical recording artists seeking perfection in their sounds, and authors who strive for the “right” words to tell their stories, all started with love.

Love? Yes. Plain and simple. Love of their pursuits, love of excellence, perhaps just love of competition or love of escape. Whatever the reason, we each possess the ability to love big. Consider the powerful love of 10,000 Olympic athletes in this time of global chaos and confusion. Doing nothing is automatic defeat.

WRAP-UP

The Olympics spur viewers to stop seeking excuses and to start seeking empowering possibilities instead. As Ayn Rand wrote in The Fountainhead, “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” Usually, when we’re completely honest with ourselves, we know the answer to this question: we greet them every day in the mirror.

(WARNING: SHAMELESS SELF-PROMO ALERT) G.A.S.P. books Since the last Olympics, I published my first book in a trilogy (I’m over 50), and book 2’s rough draft is nearly complete. (See RJillMaxwell.com) I’ve found my passion again, regardless of my age, rolled with the challenges, hung onto my dreams … AND I’m still having fun.

In conclusion, watch the Olympics. Love yourself. Imagine your possibilities.

Exercise + Life = Sexy (& Valued)

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Q: How do you make time for regular exercise? Spill any physical fitness, wellness, and health secrets!

A: You want the truth, or can I lie, so this is a better read?

I laugh. This is how conversations almost always start when struck up with fellow parents, whether they’re into fitness consistently or not. Notice the word consistently. This is a keyword!

FREQUENCY

If you’re able to do something every day, that’s optimal. Do you need to? Depends on who you are, and why you do it. For many folks, 4 times a week is sufficient. For me, that’s not nearly enough. Here’s why (and I own this!): I’m not the best me without it; I’m a grump (dreadfully unattractive, shall we say).

Now, to be really down-and-dirty honest? Let me define what “doing something every day” means for me: getting out of bed to move my body FOR me. Period. Wait, what? That’s it? Yep. That’s it. The range of activities is HUGE! Check these out

– 60-minute Orange Theory Fitness class
– 20-minute elliptical + stretch quickie
– 30-minute walk with both medium-size dogs
– 45-minute hike with my husband
– 20-minute run with one pooch (the other one isn’t programmed for distance)
– sex with your spouse (however long)
– 90-minute yoga class

The list goes on and on, right?exercise sign

Full disclosure: I’ve needed regular exercise since I was little.  I danced classical ballet through half of high school and got into tennis and downhill skiing.  Also, I messed around with racquetball, flag football, and running in college. Since having my three children, running, weight training and yoga keep me sane. I’ve even completed two marathons (completed … not won or placed)!

I don’t share this to make you feel lazy. I share this to be thought provoking. I’m hardly perfect (terribly human actually). I’ve dealt with injuries that have slowed me waaay down and made me flat out cranky.

LESSONS

Wanna know what I figured out along the way? I needed:

– the stress relief.
– a physical outlet as a mental break.
– fitness to be a part of my regular daily routine.
– the reminder that I’m still a live and valuable person worth investing in.

Most of all, in order to bring my “A” game to each day for work, career, and family, I needed to do something regularly for me and about me. Negating yourself “for the sake of” ANY thing (marriage, family, career, challenges, vacations, whatever) means you don’t value yourself. When YOU don’t value you, how on earth do you expect anyone else to? You won’t feel good either. If you don’t feel good, how are you going to look good? (Not feeling good is not sexy.)

CONCLUSION

Here’s my FINAL ANSWER on REGULAR FITNESS: Take care of yourself. VALUE yourself. We’re each worth investing our time, money and energy in daily in some way. To be MY best TO me and FOR me (and for ALL those around me), no matter how busy I get, my daily exercise in some form, is vitally important. Trust me! We’re all worth it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/2016-fitness-trends-hiit_us_56f04617e4b084c672210ff4

Street sign graphic from amazon.com

 

WANTED ALIVE: WOMAN, WIFE & MOM

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As a woman, wife and mom I know I’m a wee bit … well, “off.” All moms are, if we’re honest with ourselves. Go ahead. Laugh! You know what I’m saying is true. Ever see a mom with her young children at the grocery store? Even when well behaved, kids bombard with questions and touch everything within reach … especially when least opportune. Like dogs and cats who get sick on hard-to-clean carpeting, lousy timing seems to be part of the “kid code,” an unwritten rule.

With that said, marriage and children have taught me tons about myself. I 100% believe I wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have learned otherwise. Here are just three:

1. Kids are underrated.
2. Be courageous in decisions.
3. Love multiplies.

KIDS ARE UNDERRATED

Nothing truly worthwhile in life is (always) easy. This goes for kids, spouses, marriage, AND one’s self-discovery journey (personally, professionally, etc.). Whoever told you to just put your head down, work hard and the rest will come lied to you! You’ve GOT to come up for air, get your bearings, make necessary adjustments, and THEN get back to it! Doesn’t this sound less frustrating?

To clarify, the under-21 set learns, tests, pushes, repeats. If we moms are honest, don’t we do the same?

* raising our children (try one method; doesn’t work; try again; or, if paying attention, adjust, retry)?
* evolving our careers (learn something new, repeat it; screw up; adjust; repeat)?
* nurturing ourselves (fight/accept weight or figure out what doesn’t work; adjust accordingly; retry)?
* growing our marriages (found “button” to push; is it good or bad; adjust; retry)?

Kids make mom learn ALL of that (and more) when we choose to highly rate them.

DECISIONS

Speaking of choices, we face plenty of those constantly. The myriad leads to decision-making, albeit some frightening (and unavoidably instantaneous); others ordinary (even dull).

I’m referring, however, to the decisions that take thought and long-term commitment, a.k.a. the really scary ones. They take courage. That:

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* change in career you’ve been thinking about;
* getting married/divorced;
* having (or not having) children;
* going after something on your bucket list;
* even writing a book!

Do you know what happens when you make a genuine decision? You’ve actually been courageous. Why? Because you’ve cut off, eliminated even, all other options.

Here’s an example: by deciding to have children, you accept that another life will depend on you for years; you can’t go out every night partying like you used to; and that your money/time is no longer solely your own, etc.

Real life, love, and family decisions take courage … period. Guess what you’ll discover about yourself: you’re stronger, tougher, smarter, and more capable than you’d ever known. Pretty cool, eh?

LOVE

Then there’s this super cool component about becoming a wife/mom: learning that love multiplies!!! If you thought you only had x amount of one kind of love within you, you thought wrong! There are tons of different types of love, and they’re all capable of growing exponentially.  Click here.

 

There’s parental love, sibling love, spousal love, friend love … you get the idea. Are you considering having another baby? Have you asked yourself if you’re capable of loving another one? I promise you are! See? You’re multiplying your love and didn’t even know it! In fact, there’s always more than enough.

REWARD: I ain’t seen nothin’ yet!